








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 478 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 231 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 225 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 61 matches | ||
| Faceit | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 39 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




30 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7424 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,360 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7107 | 35% |
| Smokes | 5692 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2926 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 4635 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,757,320 of utility $133 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 30 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | magik | 54% | 46 |
| #2 | jeff slayer | 54% | 163 |
| #3 | gun | 53% | 38 |
| #4 | Jabba the | 49% | 72 |
| #5 | SEN tteokbokki | 47% | 139 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rafiki | 784 | 0.18 | 17 min |
| #2 | door | 720 | 0.25 | 16 min |
| #3 | jeff slayer | 596 | 0.18 | 17 min |
| #4 | Sachiho | 440 | 0.25 | 10 min |
| #5 | Jabba the | 154 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jeff slayer | +4.11 | 90 | 64 |
| #2 | sea oh 2 | +3.00 | 68 | 66 |
| #3 | SEN tteokbokki | +0.33 | 82 | 39 |
| #4 | rafiki | +0.09 | 67 | 56 |
| #5 | magik | +0.00 | 69 | 52 |





