








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1648 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 818 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




30 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6801 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,240 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3559 | 25% |
| Smokes | 6827 | 48% |
| HE Grenades | 2867 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 987 | 7% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,485,822 of utility $190 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3073 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | notkpankk | 68% | 63 |
| #2 | M̵y̵N̶a̵m̷e̴I̸s̵K̴y̷l | 60% | 62 |
| #3 | B5 | 58% | 237 |
| #4 | woracori | 57% | 308 |
| #5 | TerrorBunny | 57% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | B5 | 58% | 237 |
| #4 | woracori | 57% | 308 |
| #5 | TerrorBunny | 57% | 49 |
| #6 | Monsieur Monkey | 57% | 69 |
| #7 | ✫ JewelzAaahhhhhh ✫ | 55% | 130 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | woracori | 12 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | B5 | 6 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | TerrorBunny | 6 | 0.0058 |
| #4 | ✫ JewelzAaahhhhhh ✫ | 3 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | Monsieur Monkey | 3 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | B5 | 860 | 0.18 | 18 min |
| #2 | ✫ JewelzAaahhhhhh ✫ | 702 | 0.25 | 16 min |
| #3 | Monsieur Monkey | 337 | 0.22 | 10 min |
| #4 | notkpankk | 254 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| #5 | woracori | 245 | 0.04 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | notkpankk | +3.31 | 76 | 54 |
| #2 | B5 | +1.77 | 50 | 59 |
| #3 | Monsieur Monkey | +1.01 | 61 | 63 |
| #4 | M̵y̵N̶a̵m̷e̴I̸s̵K̴y̷l | +0.94 | 45 | 64 |
| #5 | Posty | +0.61 | 57 | 41 |





