








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2488 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 1804 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 54 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




78 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
18331 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 31,143 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4100 | 13% |
| Smokes | 5642 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 11794 | 38% |
| Molotovs | 9607 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $7,956,988 of utility $205 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 12517 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [CIG†] Tranix17 | 58% | 118 |
| #2 | Posty | 57% | 308 |
| #3 | ✫ JewelzAaahhhhhh ✫ | 56% | 185 |
| #4 | Monsieur Monkey | 55% | 954 |
| #5 | partial jo | 53% | 171 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Posty | 57% | 308 |
| #3 | ✫ JewelzAaahhhhhh ✫ | 56% | 185 |
| #4 | Monsieur Monkey | 55% | 954 |
| #5 | partial jo | 53% | 171 |
| #6 | itami | 52% | 107 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Monsieur Monkey | 96 | 0.0048 |
| #2 | partial jo | 17 | 0.0048 |
| #3 | Posty | 14 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | ✫ JewelzAaahhhhhh ✫ | 7 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | itami | 4 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Monsieur Monkey | 3828 | 0.19 | 110 min |
| #2 | ✫ JewelzAaahhhhhh ✫ | 948 | 0.24 | 23 min |
| #3 | partial jo | 768 | 0.22 | 19 min |
| #4 | itami | 685 | 0.31 | 16 min |
| #5 | Posty | 454 | 0.07 | 11 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | itami | +3.48 | 88 | 52 |
| #2 | Monsieur Monkey | +0.77 | 61 | 61 |
| #3 | Posty | +0.58 | 52 | 42 |
| #4 | ✫ JewelzAaahhhhhh ✫ | +0.45 | 41 | 65 |
| #5 | partial jo | +0.33 | 48 | 62 |





