








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1282 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 375 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 53 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3903 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,452 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7174 | 35% |
| Smokes | 5013 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 4298 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 3967 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $795,495 of utility $87 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3450 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | notkpankk | 62% | 52 |
| #2 | Dragon | 59% | 32 |
| #3 | DeepReshin | 58% | 50 |
| #4 | woracori | 56% | 185 |
| #5 | Posty | 55% | 130 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Dragon | 59% | 32 |
| #3 | DeepReshin | 58% | 50 |
| #4 | woracori | 56% | 185 |
| #5 | Posty | 55% | 130 |
| #6 | [CIG†] Tranix17 | 54% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Posty | 5 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | woracori | 4 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | [CIG†] Tranix17 | 2 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | Dragon | 2 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | DeepReshin | 1 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Posty | 208 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #2 | notkpankk | 199 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #3 | DeepReshin | 170 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #4 | woracori | 130 | 0.03 | 3 min |
| #5 | [CIG†] Tranix17 | 57 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | notkpankk | +2.55 | 74 | 55 |
| #2 | DeepReshin | +2.24 | 50 | 59 |
| #3 | ✫ JewelzAaahhhhhh ✫ | +1.10 | 44 | 67 |
| #4 | Posty | +0.24 | 48 | 41 |
| #5 | woracori | -0.13 | 39 | 50 |





