








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 313 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 169 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 25 matches | ||
| Wingman | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 36 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




51 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2058 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,504 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1016 | 29% |
| Smokes | 602 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 1594 | 45% |
| Molotovs | 292 | 8% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,064,863 of utility $212 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 288 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cybor-Soldier | 48% | 27 |
| #2 | Strike Force 14 | 43% | 14 |
| #3 | KGB | 43% | 89 |
| #4 | Poorly Planned | 36% | 45 |
| #5 | AbeDogg | 33% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Strike Force 14 | 43% | 14 |
| #3 | KGB | 43% | 89 |
| #4 | Poorly Planned | 36% | 45 |
| #5 | AbeDogg | 33% | 24 |
| #6 | phuckdolfin | 32% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KGB | 2 | 0.0011 |
| #2 | Poorly Planned | 2 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | phuckdolfin | 2 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | Cybor-Soldier | 1 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | Strike Force 14 | 1 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KGB | 107 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #2 | Poorly Planned | 93 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #3 | phuckdolfin | 89 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #4 | Cybor-Soldier | 31 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | AbeDogg | 31 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Poorly Planned | +1.01 | 48 | 45 |
| #2 | Squiggie | +0.98 | 43 | 41 |
| #3 | Strike Force 14 | +0.60 | 32 | 43 |
| #4 | Cybor-Soldier | -0.67 | 32 | 55 |
| #5 | phuckdolfin | -1.09 | 44 | 68 |





