








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 32 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 184 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2264 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,451 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2335 | 31% |
| Smokes | 1164 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 1811 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2141 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $585,112 of utility $119 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 22 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chickeninja | 65% | 26 |
| #2 | anthonysleftnut #13-18fps | 64% | 25 |
| #3 | Brensylvania | 53% | 72 |
| #4 | purGedM4 | 50% | 82 |
| #5 | J0bro | 49% | 99 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | anthonysleftnut #13-18fps | 64% | 25 |
| #3 | Brensylvania | 53% | 72 |
| #4 | purGedM4 | 50% | 82 |
| #5 | J0bro | 49% | 99 |
| #6 | ✪ Entity | 41% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | J0bro | 8 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | Brensylvania | 3 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | Chickeninja | 1 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | J0bro | 592 | 0.28 | 17 min |
| #2 | purGedM4 | 322 | 0.18 | 10 min |
| #3 | Brensylvania | 173 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #4 | ✪ Entity | 82 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | Chickeninja | 62 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chickeninja | +2.14 | 80 | 48 |
| #2 | Brensylvania | +0.98 | 59 | 58 |
| #3 | anthonysleftnut #13-18fps | +0.60 | 75 | 48 |
| #4 | J0bro | +0.57 | 84 | 78 |
| #5 | ✪ Entity | +0.24 | 84 | 61 |





