








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 585 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 123 matches | ||
| Premier | 105 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 71 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2383 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,103 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3501 | 27% |
| Smokes | 3290 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2759 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 3553 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $771,185 of utility $131 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 354 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JojoS | 71% | 14 |
| #2 | QuiRa | 69% | 26 |
| #3 | ツ emπM ツ #picassopeek | 56% | 96 |
| #4 | IronTony | 56% | 126 |
| #5 | JackJack3231™ | 55% | 99 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | IronTony | 56% | 126 |
| #5 | JackJack3231™ | 55% | 99 |
| #6 | FMajster | 54% | 101 |
| #7 | IsZo# :> | 53% | 55 |
| #8 | mule | 52% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FMajster | 8 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | ツ emπM ツ #picassopeek | 5 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | IronTony | 2 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | mule | 2 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | JackJack3231™ | 1 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FMajster | 935 | 0.43 | 28 min |
| #2 | ツ emπM ツ #picassopeek | 264 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #3 | IronTony | 219 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #4 | IsZo# :> | 180 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #5 | JackJack3231™ | 132 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JojoS | +4.82 | 90 | 65 |
| #2 | QuiRa | +1.63 | 67 | 58 |
| #3 | JackJack3231™ | +1.20 | 72 | 63 |
| #4 | ツ emπM ツ #picassopeek | +0.99 | 86 | 71 |
| #5 | IronTony | +0.64 | 67 | 54 |





