










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 807 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 406 matches | ||
| Faceit | 28 matches | ||
| Wingman | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 116 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3248 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,295 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4060 | 28% |
| Smokes | 4106 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 3326 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2803 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,582,673 of utility $248 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 9 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | sunr!se | 45% | 42 |
| #11 | Bot Neon | 44% | 89 |
| #12 | ツ emπM ツ #picassopeek | 43% | 28 |
| #13 | DrGhost | 38% | 47 |
| #14 | Freemann | 34% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | IsZo# :> | 10 | 0.0012 |
| #2 | So3! ♫ | 8 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | BOBER KURWA | 5 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | IronTony | 4 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | JojoS | 3 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | IsZo# :> | 1155 | 0.14 | 33 min |
| #2 | So3! ♫ | 684 | 0.23 | 17 min |
| #3 | DrGhost | 224 | 0.23 | 6 min |
| #4 | IronTony | 223 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #5 | QuiRa | 211 | 0.15 | 5 min |





