








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 310 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 133 matches | ||
| Faceit | 108 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 35 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2613 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,681 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1790 | 21% |
| Smokes | 2594 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 2092 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2205 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $838,658 of utility $140 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 38 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | IronTony | 58% | 175 |
| #2 | XUN | 56% | 96 |
| #3 | JackJack3231™ | 56% | 126 |
| #4 | FMajster | 55% | 115 |
| #5 | IsZo# :> | 53% | 89 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | FMajster | 55% | 115 |
| #5 | IsZo# :> | 53% | 89 |
| #6 | Bot Neon | 47% | 15 |
| #7 | So3! ♫ | 45% | 22 |
| #8 | mule | 43% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FMajster | 8 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | XUN | 3 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | IsZo# :> | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | IronTony | 1 | 0.0003 |
| #5 | JackJack3231™ | 1 | 0.0004 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FMajster | 1101 | 0.45 | 34 min |
| #2 | IronTony | 336 | 0.09 | 9 min |
| #3 | IsZo# :> | 270 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #4 | XUN | 185 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #5 | JackJack3231™ | 153 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JackJack3231™ | +1.11 | 70 | 60 |
| #2 | IronTony | +1.02 | 68 | 60 |
| #3 | ツ emπM ツ #picassopeek | +0.76 | 83 | 65 |
| #4 | XUN | +0.06 | 61 | 74 |
| #5 | IsZo# :> | -0.55 | 74 | 69 |





