








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 429 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 178 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 59 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3652 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,868 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6065 | 38% |
| Smokes | 3788 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 2743 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 3272 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $979,328 of utility $115 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1440 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Eay- | 77% | 71 |
| #2 | CARACOL | 74% | 77 |
| #3 | Neo-reload[tp | 68% | 192 |
| #4 | UnK | 67% | 312 |
| #5 | sennsei | 67% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | UnK | 953 | 0.16 | 26 min |
| #2 | stavie/10/ | 400 | 0.18 | 11 min |
| #3 | AlienJ | 378 | 0.16 | 9 min |
| #4 | Eay- | 310 | 0.23 | 7 min |
| #5 | Neo-reload[tp | 272 | 0.07 | 7 min |





