








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2503 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 213 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 208 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 140 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 89 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 68 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 67 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 18 matches | ||
| Faceit | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 67 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
11996 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 33,031 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9367 | 28% |
| Smokes | 8701 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 7133 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 7830 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,800,011 of utility $151 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1605 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Eay- | 78% | 217 |
| #2 | CARACOL | 77% | 256 |
| #3 | sennsei | 76% | 115 |
| #4 | Neo-reload[tp | 74% | 501 |
| #5 | AlienJ | 73% | 390 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Neo-reload[tp | 37 | 0.0039 |
| #2 | Eay- | 31 | 0.0074 |
| #3 | AlienJ | 18 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | stavie/10/ | 16 | 0.0034 |
| #5 | Khep | 10 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AlienJ | 1188 | 0.16 | 27 min |
| #2 | Eay- | 1118 | 0.27 | 29 min |
| #3 | peterWZ | 1045 | 0.17 | 28 min |
| #4 | stavie/10/ | 832 | 0.18 | 19 min |
| #5 | Khep | 799 | 0.10 | 18 min |





