








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1116 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 263 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 96 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 70 matches | ||
| Faceit | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 123 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4173 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,592 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4756 | 22% |
| Smokes | 5810 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 5629 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 5397 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,782,301 of utility $129 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 344 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sennsei | 76% | 67 |
| #2 | Neo-reload[tp | 69% | 217 |
| #3 | Eay- | 68% | 75 |
| #4 | UnK | 67% | 400 |
| #5 | AlienJ | 67% | 203 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Neo-reload[tp | 16 | 0.0039 |
| #2 | Eay- | 14 | 0.0094 |
| #3 | UnK | 13 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | stavie/10/ | 10 | 0.0034 |
| #5 | FORGOTTEN | 7 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | UnK | 1368 | 0.18 | 39 min |
| #2 | AlienJ | 687 | 0.18 | 16 min |
| #3 | peterWZ | 565 | 0.19 | 16 min |
| #4 | stavie/10/ | 538 | 0.18 | 13 min |
| #5 | FORGOTTEN | 444 | 0.16 | 12 min |





