








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 50 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 54 matches | ||
| Premier | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
984 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,855 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 863 | 30% |
| Smokes | 652 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 644 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 696 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $157,545 of utility $77 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 49 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | KumaR | 56% | 9 |
| #4 | Wo Isser? ⋆PARi | 52% | 29 |
| #5 | uᴉpuüHǝԀԀɐɹ Skinport.com | 50% | 8 |
| #6 | DuZZ 鬼 | 46% | 13 |
| #7 | PyT | 17% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wo Isser? ⋆PARi | 7 | 0.0119 |
| #2 | PyT | 3 | 0.0337 |
| #3 | uᴉpuüHǝԀԀɐɹ Skinport.com | 2 | 0.0123 |
| #4 | KumaR | 1 | 0.0053 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wo Isser? ⋆PARi | 169 | 0.29 | 3 min |
| #2 | DuZZ 鬼 | 47 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| #3 | uᴉpuüHǝԀԀɐɹ Skinport.com | 29 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #4 | KumaR | 22 | 0.12 | 0 min |
| #5 | jaraxyner | 20 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jaraxyner | +2.00 | 64 | 49 |
| #2 | DuZZ 鬼 | +1.45 | 80 | 51 |
| #3 | PyT | +1.09 | 82 | 40 |
| #4 | 1st craylert// | +0.44 | 69 | 54 |
| #5 | uᴉpuüHǝԀԀɐɹ Skinport.com | -0.78 | 61 | 49 |





