








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 294 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 63 matches | ||
| Faceit | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




69 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2055 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,387 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1830 | 34% |
| Smokes | 1143 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 1406 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1008 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $634,567 of utility $147 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 77 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | DuZZ 鬼 | 47% | 158 |
| #6 | -eRneY- | 43% | 93 |
| #7 | Wo Isser? ⋆PARi | 42% | 133 |
| #8 | uᴉpuüHǝԀԀɐɹ Skinport.com | 41% | 82 |
| #9 | Bauer Hermann | 38% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wo Isser? ⋆PARi | 46 | 0.0173 |
| #2 | -keq | 20 | 0.0151 |
| #3 | -eRneY- | 18 | 0.0093 |
| #4 | DuZZ 鬼 | 12 | 0.0037 |
| #5 | uᴉpuüHǝԀԀɐɹ Skinport.com | 4 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wo Isser? ⋆PARi | 703 | 0.26 | 13 min |
| #2 | DuZZ 鬼 | 521 | 0.16 | 13 min |
| #3 | uᴉpuüHǝԀԀɐɹ Skinport.com | 285 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #4 | -eRneY- | 185 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #5 | -keq | 183 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | heku | +2.39 | 82 | 51 |
| #2 | -keq | +2.32 | 77 | 65 |
| #3 | PyT | +1.32 | 81 | 59 |
| #4 | -eRneY- | +1.27 | 68 | 57 |
| #5 | jaraxyner | +0.05 | 70 | 30 |





