








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 429 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 91 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 47 matches | ||
| Premier | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Faceit | 11 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




39 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2220 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,593 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2276 | 30% |
| Smokes | 1897 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2002 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1418 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $643,872 of utility $118 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 71 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jaraxyner | 52% | 33 |
| #2 | -keq | 51% | 63 |
| #3 | DuZZ 鬼 | 47% | 194 |
| #4 | -eRneY- | 46% | 121 |
| #5 | Wo Isser? ⋆PARi | 45% | 164 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wo Isser? ⋆PARi | 55 | 0.0163 |
| #2 | -eRneY- | 43 | 0.0172 |
| #3 | PyT | 31 | 0.0179 |
| #4 | DuZZ 鬼 | 24 | 0.0060 |
| #5 | -keq | 20 | 0.0151 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wo Isser? ⋆PARi | 1045 | 0.31 | 19 min |
| #2 | DuZZ 鬼 | 665 | 0.17 | 17 min |
| #3 | -eRneY- | 287 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #4 | PyT | 271 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #5 | -keq | 188 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -keq | +3.30 | 81 | 64 |
| #2 | -eRneY- | +2.30 | 72 | 55 |
| #3 | PyT | +1.07 | 76 | 59 |
| #4 | DuZZ 鬼 | +0.99 | 77 | 64 |
| #5 | jaraxyner | +0.28 | 57 | 46 |





