








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 173 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
661 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,605 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 611 | 38% |
| Smokes | 432 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 291 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 271 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $355,187 of utility $213 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 468 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BigSleezy | 80% | 5 |
| #2 | v!Per | 75% | 4 |
| #3 | bernie | 71% | 7 |
| #4 | $iL3nT A$$a$$in | 64% | 11 |
| #5 | 𝖛𝖆𝖚𝖌𝖍𝖆𝖓 | 50% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SCROBOT | 114 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #2 | sLitH3rs | 107 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #3 | Mia Khalifa | 48 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #4 | JohnBlaze | 44 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| #5 | $iL3nT A$$a$$in | 37 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bernie | +4.67 | 86 | 79 |
| #2 | v!Per | +3.12 | 71 | 57 |
| #3 | BigSleezy | +2.91 | 68 | 48 |
| #4 | SCROBOT | +2.73 | 84 | 69 |
| #5 | theory^ | +1.60 | 50 | 67 |





