








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 720 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 103 matches | ||
| Wingman | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 39 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




30 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2302 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,606 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1898 | 34% |
| Smokes | 1089 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 1443 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1176 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $934,103 of utility $188 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 770 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | johnny sins | 52% | 21 |
| #2 | Nightwere 140MS REACTION TIME | 47% | 17 |
| #3 | jackie legs | 45% | 77 |
| #4 | Keith Alexander | 44% | 25 |
| #5 | ✪Magic | 43% | 88 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Keith Alexander | 44% | 25 |
| #5 | ✪Magic | 43% | 88 |
| #6 | SCREAM | 42% | 99 |
| #7 | Scooby Dog | 38% | 45 |
| #8 | BakedKiller | 29% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jackie legs | 23 | 0.0148 |
| #2 | SCREAM | 12 | 0.0059 |
| #3 | ✪Magic | 7 | 0.0041 |
| #4 | Scooby Dog | 4 | 0.0044 |
| #5 | BakedKiller | 3 | 0.0068 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SCREAM | 294 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #2 | ✪Magic | 218 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #3 | jackie legs | 119 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #4 | BakedKiller | 83 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #5 | Nightwere 140MS REACTION TIME | 61 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nightwere 140MS REACTION TIME | +4.13 | 70 | 55 |
| #2 | ✪Magic | +3.47 | 69 | 49 |
| #3 | BakedKiller | +2.17 | 77 | 44 |
| #4 | ducky | +0.07 | 78 | 58 |
| #5 | jackie legs | +0.07 | 53 | 55 |





