








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 666 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 77 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 32 matches | ||
| Premier | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3031 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,938 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1493 | 30% |
| Smokes | 1820 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 1206 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 419 | 8% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,450,325 of utility $291 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3034 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #14 | danus | 46% | 35 |
| #15 | poffertjesheer | 37% | 82 |
| #16 | Tenny | 37% | 63 |
| #17 | pp | 36% | 28 |
| #18 | BunnyBoo! | 35% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Silver Gamer | 24 | 0.0144 |
| #2 | AitchBeeSea | 22 | 0.0180 |
| #3 | BunnyBoo! | 13 | 0.0129 |
| #4 | Wavy | 13 | 0.0236 |
| #5 | purple crayon swallower | 10 | 0.0215 |





