








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 101 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 14 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1439 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,490 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1411 | 40% |
| Smokes | 582 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 956 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 541 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $558,497 of utility $188 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 305 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | SuperCats | 56% | 70 |
| #7 | SPiT RoaST Da BiTCH | 50% | 90 |
| #8 | pZk | 49% | 76 |
| #9 | I Test My Crack | 48% | 75 |
| #10 | benzo | 36% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SPiT RoaST Da BiTCH | 17 | 0.0099 |
| #2 | I Test My Crack | 15 | 0.0103 |
| #3 | Phoenix | 8 | 0.0155 |
| #4 | redman | 5 | 0.0094 |
| #5 | pZk | 4 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SuperCats | 342 | 0.25 | 10 min |
| #2 | pZk | 261 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #3 | SPiT RoaST Da BiTCH | 258 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #4 | I Test My Crack | 161 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #5 | redman | 142 | 0.27 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | I Test My Crack | +1.95 | 77 | 58 |
| #2 | redman | +1.94 | 91 | 70 |
| #3 | SuperCats | +1.83 | 71 | 71 |
| #4 | Phoenix | +1.69 | 64 | 72 |
| #5 | Phunter | +1.58 | 78 | 67 |





