








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 196 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 68 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2757 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,461 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1965 | 26% |
| Smokes | 2352 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 1553 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1591 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $631,053 of utility $129 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 420 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yin | 83% | 12 |
| #2 | Grandmaster Shredder | 80% | 15 |
| #3 | Mace | 69% | 39 |
| #4 | box | 65% | 23 |
| #5 | Ryan | 57% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | Tisch | 48% | 25 |
| #13 | Neptoon | 47% | 17 |
| #14 | ZombiebaconII | 47% | 81 |
| #15 | mynameQUESO | 46% | 13 |
| #16 | diamondback | 45% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ZombiebaconII | 35 | 0.0210 |
| #2 | Mace | 20 | 0.0234 |
| #3 | Puppy Cait | 15 | 0.0075 |
| #4 | Rock | 14 | 0.0093 |
| #5 | Render | 11 | 0.0071 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ZombiebaconII | 341 | 0.20 | 9 min |
| #2 | Mace | 316 | 0.37 | 8 min |
| #3 | Ryan | 232 | 0.27 | 5 min |
| #4 | Argo :3 | 225 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| #5 | Puppy Cait | 219 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yin | +3.17 | 95 | 54 |
| #2 | Mace | +2.62 | 67 | 68 |
| #3 | Neptoon | +1.91 | 81 | 55 |
| #4 | React™ | +1.84 | 69 | 59 |
| #5 | box | +1.74 | 80 | 62 |





