








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 102 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 54 matches | ||
| Wingman | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1436 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,308 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2810 | 45% |
| Smokes | 1286 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 1306 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 906 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $741,186 of utility $157 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 232 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Neptoon | 69% | 13 |
| #2 | Mace | 60% | 25 |
| #3 | Rock | 57% | 81 |
| #4 | React™ | 57% | 46 |
| #5 | diamondback | 56% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | ZombiebaconII | 46% | 92 |
| #8 | Puppy Cait | 44% | 68 |
| #9 | Render | 42% | 69 |
| #10 | dinkeigh | 40% | 50 |
| #11 | Tisch | 38% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ZombiebaconII | 50 | 0.0269 |
| #2 | Mace | 16 | 0.0321 |
| #3 | Rock | 15 | 0.0095 |
| #4 | Render | 15 | 0.0113 |
| #5 | Argo :3 | 9 | 0.0073 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ZombiebaconII | 325 | 0.17 | 7 min |
| #2 | Argo :3 | 212 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #3 | diamondback | 146 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| #4 | Puppy Cait | 133 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #5 | Mace | 113 | 0.23 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Neptoon | +3.87 | 80 | 58 |
| #2 | Argo :3 | +3.28 | 79 | 44 |
| #3 | Mace | +2.37 | 66 | 69 |
| #4 | React™ | +1.97 | 74 | 61 |
| #5 | ZombiebaconII | +1.74 | 73 | 50 |





