








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 425 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 156 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 73 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 45 matches | ||
| Faceit | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




73 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5187 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,902 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2046 | 23% |
| Smokes | 1863 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 2212 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2781 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,708,465 of utility $153 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 329 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dinkeigh | 53% | 47 |
| #2 | diamondback | 51% | 74 |
| #3 | Puppy Cait | 51% | 146 |
| #4 | React™ | 50% | 74 |
| #5 | Argo :3 | 47% | 233 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | ZombiebaconII | 44% | 269 |
| #8 | Mace | 44% | 172 |
| #9 | Ryan | 42% | 69 |
| #10 | Rock | 41% | 80 |
| #11 | Tisch | 35% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ZombiebaconII | 93 | 0.0166 |
| #2 | Mace | 87 | 0.0239 |
| #3 | Argo :3 | 28 | 0.0057 |
| #4 | Puppy Cait | 25 | 0.0082 |
| #5 | React™ | 10 | 0.0064 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mace | 1298 | 0.36 | 35 min |
| #2 | ZombiebaconII | 1279 | 0.23 | 35 min |
| #3 | Argo :3 | 785 | 0.16 | 17 min |
| #4 | Ryan | 372 | 0.27 | 9 min |
| #5 | spencer | 338 | 0.34 | 10 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Argo :3 | +2.62 | 77 | 48 |
| #2 | React™ | +2.01 | 68 | 62 |
| #3 | Mace | +1.96 | 67 | 73 |
| #4 | Puppy Cait | +1.01 | 48 | 51 |
| #5 | ZombiebaconII | +0.63 | 67 | 58 |





