








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 479 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 236 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 13 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 35 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




48 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3989 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,071 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2087 | 30% |
| Smokes | 1947 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1536 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1501 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,974,101 of utility $183 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 405 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Neptoon | 61% | 38 |
| #2 | Grandmaster Shredder | 59% | 75 |
| #3 | Meap | 58% | 31 |
| #4 | Argo :3 | 57% | 107 |
| #5 | Ryan | 57% | 81 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ZombiebaconII | 51 | 0.0180 |
| #2 | Argo :3 | 19 | 0.0087 |
| #3 | Render | 17 | 0.0106 |
| #4 | Mace | 17 | 0.0210 |
| #5 | React™ | 10 | 0.0066 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ZombiebaconII | 510 | 0.18 | 13 min |
| #2 | Ryan | 417 | 0.26 | 10 min |
| #3 | LonelyPieceofPie | 416 | 0.17 | 8 min |
| #4 | Argo :3 | 364 | 0.17 | 8 min |
| #5 | diamondback | 334 | 0.19 | 9 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Neptoon | +3.67 | 84 | 57 |
| #2 | Mace | +2.55 | 69 | 72 |
| #3 | React™ | +2.54 | 70 | 63 |
| #4 | Argo :3 | +2.32 | 77 | 50 |
| #5 | ZombiebaconII | +1.86 | 75 | 51 |





