








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 268 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 113 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 65 matches | ||
| Premier | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4612 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,505 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3720 | 35% |
| Smokes | 2601 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1941 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 2243 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $539,743 of utility $73 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 96 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Speshal Forces | 77% | 26 |
| #2 | Kiwi | 72% | 36 |
| #3 | 7am | 71% | 70 |
| #4 | redf0x | 69% | 29 |
| #5 | Genie | 54% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | 7am | 71% | 70 |
| #4 | redf0x | 69% | 29 |
| #5 | Genie | 54% | 56 |
| #6 | ✪ Baird | 53% | 57 |
| #7 | meowmeow | 32% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 7am | 16 | 0.0120 |
| #2 | Speshal Forces | 5 | 0.0103 |
| #3 | ✪ Baird | 3 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | Kiwi | 1 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Baird | 174 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #2 | 7am | 148 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #3 | meowmeow | 145 | 0.34 | 3 min |
| #4 | Genie | 105 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #5 | Kiwi | 78 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bilbi | +4.45 | 94 | 62 |
| #2 | 7am | +4.29 | 89 | 58 |
| #3 | redf0x | +3.93 | 89 | 47 |
| #4 | ✪ Baird | +1.08 | 81 | 75 |
| #5 | Kiwi | +0.96 | 72 | 61 |





