








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 187 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 119 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 113 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 79 matches | ||
| Wingman | 71 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 67 matches | ||
| Faceit | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




89 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7247 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,939 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3109 | 21% |
| Smokes | 4487 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 2585 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 4758 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,838,217 of utility $129 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 104 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 7am | 77% | 370 |
| #2 | professional rat | 77% | 43 |
| #3 | K4rnage | 76% | 38 |
| #4 | Pathetic Jon | 68% | 75 |
| #5 | kylito | 63% | 240 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | professional rat | 77% | 43 |
| #3 | K4rnage | 76% | 38 |
| #4 | Pathetic Jon | 68% | 75 |
| #5 | kylito | 63% | 240 |
| #6 | Exodia | TRADING | 49% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 7am | 46 | 0.0067 |
| #2 | kylito | 33 | 0.0073 |
| #3 | Pathetic Jon | 7 | 0.0049 |
| #4 | professional rat | 7 | 0.0090 |
| #5 | K4rnage | 7 | 0.0092 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kylito | 735 | 0.16 | 18 min |
| #2 | 7am | 695 | 0.10 | 18 min |
| #3 | Pathetic Jon | 244 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #4 | K4rnage | 208 | 0.27 | 6 min |
| #5 | Exodia | TRADING | 106 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 7am | +6.24 | 91 | 63 |
| #2 | K4rnage | +3.61 | 87 | 71 |
| #3 | kylito | +3.28 | 80 | 53 |
| #4 | Pathetic Jon | +2.72 | 74 | 61 |
| #5 | professional rat | +1.84 | 84 | 31 |





