








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 538 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 254 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 78 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 68 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 31 matches | ||
| Faceit | 25 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 39 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




62 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7854 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,196 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5495 | 27% |
| Smokes | 4145 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 5092 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 5464 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,082,396 of utility $142 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1229 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tspencer | 54% | 363 |
| #2 | Shadow Prime | 52% | 232 |
| #3 | sadgezone | 50% | 155 |
| #4 | obm | 50% | 338 |
| #5 | danwill77 | 47% | 253 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tspencer | 35 | 0.0048 |
| #2 | just Andooby | 15 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | obm | 13 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | danwill77 | 8 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | JanSadgetini | 7 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | just Andooby | 1241 | 0.17 | 34 min |
| #2 | obm | 962 | 0.14 | 21 min |
| #3 | Tspencer | 844 | 0.12 | 21 min |
| #4 | Shadow Prime | 817 | 0.17 | 20 min |
| #5 | danwill77 | 611 | 0.13 | 16 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tspencer | +2.25 | 79 | 58 |
| #2 | k4rmaa | +1.62 | 85 | 62 |
| #3 | Shadow Prime | +0.77 | 64 | 65 |
| #4 | obm | +0.14 | 63 | 64 |
| #5 | just Andooby | -0.87 | 59 | 62 |





