








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 150 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September

The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 73 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 32 matches | ||
| Faceit | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 46 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3305 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,423 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3845 | 23% |
| Smokes | 5663 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 2331 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 4584 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $643,420 of utility $80 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 924 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JanSadgetini | 59% | 66 |
| #2 | sadgezone | 55% | 87 |
| #3 | Tspencer | 54% | 236 |
| #4 | danwill77 | 53% | 161 |
| #5 | Shadow Prime | 50% | 141 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | k4rmaa | 28 | 0.0041 |
| #2 | Tspencer | 17 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | just Andooby | 5 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | danwill77 | 4 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | Shadow Prime | 3 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | k4rmaa | 986 | 0.14 | 27 min |
| #2 | just Andooby | 823 | 0.16 | 22 min |
| #3 | Tspencer | 546 | 0.11 | 13 min |
| #4 | Shadow Prime | 482 | 0.16 | 12 min |
| #5 | danwill77 | 404 | 0.13 | 10 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tspencer | +2.11 | 78 | 56 |
| #2 | k4rmaa | +1.34 | 82 | 62 |
| #3 | Shadow Prime | +1.02 | 63 | 66 |
| #4 | obm | +0.07 | 63 | 64 |
| #5 | just Andooby | -1.16 | 61 | 61 |





