








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 148 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Premier | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
880 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,670 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 943 | 35% |
| Smokes | 575 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 544 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 608 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $328,877 of utility $139 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 17 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gonzo | 64% | 14 |
| #2 | KermitTehFroug | 57% | 28 |
| #3 | kubee | 56% | 52 |
| #4 | ✪ Pythius | 52% | 23 |
| #5 | TheSoulBandit | 50% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kungfuhamster32 | 8 | 0.0052 |
| #2 | ✪ Pythius | 8 | 0.0177 |
| #3 | kubee | 7 | 0.0069 |
| #4 | gonzo | 5 | 0.0171 |
| #5 | KermitTehFroug | 2 | 0.0038 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kungfuhamster32 | 392 | 0.25 | 10 min |
| #2 | kubee | 86 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #3 | ✪ Pythius | 75 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #4 | Jonald | 65 | 0.29 | 2 min |
| #5 | KermitTehFroug | 59 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gonzo | +3.63 | 72 | 50 |
| #2 | KermitTehFroug | +2.62 | 74 | 65 |
| #3 | kungfuhamster32 | +1.90 | 46 | 53 |
| #4 | kubee | +1.32 | 46 | 62 |
| #5 | ✪ Pythius | +1.28 | 62 | 65 |





