








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1151 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 51 matches | ||
| Premier | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 57 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2660 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,296 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2691 | 26% |
| Smokes | 2234 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 3113 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 2258 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,041,755 of utility $157 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1079 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tex | 65% | 51 |
| #2 | Muscle Mommmy | 57% | 28 |
| #3 | kubee | 57% | 93 |
| #4 | gonzo | 56% | 50 |
| #5 | kungfuhamster32 | 55% | 123 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Pythius | 25 | 0.0107 |
| #2 | gonzo | 21 | 0.0198 |
| #3 | Tex | 11 | 0.0108 |
| #4 | kungfuhamster32 | 9 | 0.0036 |
| #5 | kubee | 6 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Pythius | 370 | 0.16 | 10 min |
| #2 | kungfuhamster32 | 357 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| #3 | Jonald | 195 | 0.37 | 4 min |
| #4 | kubee | 144 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #5 | Tex | 135 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gonzo | +1.95 | 66 | 64 |
| #2 | KermitTehFroug | +1.94 | 74 | 62 |
| #3 | ✪ Pythius | +1.37 | 69 | 66 |
| #4 | kubee | +1.28 | 42 | 61 |
| #5 | kungfuhamster32 | +0.63 | 52 | 50 |





