








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 355 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 655 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6160 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 31,153 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 10105 | 32% |
| Smokes | 8560 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 6016 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 6472 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,320,157 of utility $90 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 112 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wNtd:> | 54% | 41 |
| #2 | JaMO- | 53% | 45 |
| #3 | Pöllö_// | 53% | 111 |
| #4 | Bob The Bodybuilder | 53% | 76 |
| #5 | CruNk. | 52% | 326 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | Mossepo | 48% | 106 |
| #13 | Nazu | 47% | 133 |
| #14 | Penno | 46% | 52 |
| #15 | Cookie` | 45% | 92 |
| #16 | timi hendrix | 45% | 110 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kartza | 13 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | CruNk. | 11 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | timi hendrix | 8 | 0.0035 |
| #4 | Cookie` | 8 | 0.0044 |
| #5 | JaMO- | 8 | 0.0124 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CruNk. | 499 | 0.07 | 12 min |
| #2 | Pöllö_// | 419 | 0.18 | 11 min |
| #3 | Mossepo | 394 | 0.18 | 11 min |
| #4 | Nazu | 385 | 0.15 | 10 min |
| #5 | Cookie` | 383 | 0.21 | 10 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mossepo | +2.54 | 76 | 82 |
| #2 | wNtd:> | +2.36 | 80 | 69 |
| #3 | CLINT ON A HORSE | +2.11 | 73 | 71 |
| #4 | Dafffttttyyy | +1.68 | 79 | 71 |
| #5 | Pöllö_// | +1.15 | 66 | 74 |





