








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 493 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 548 matches | ||
| Faceit | 132 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 68 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




36 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7172 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 25,093 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4224 | 17% |
| Smokes | 5336 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 8651 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 6882 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,357,840 of utility $195 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 877 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ogireg | 65% | 46 |
| #2 | Lund | 63% | 75 |
| #3 | wNtd:> | 55% | 66 |
| #4 | Jantsuu | 54% | 222 |
| #5 | Pöllö_// | 51% | 220 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | Cookie` | 49% | 142 |
| #13 | Möllis | 48% | 162 |
| #14 | Nazu | 42% | 72 |
| #15 | Penno | 41% | 61 |
| #16 | LAIHDUTTAJA | 39% | 57 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CruNk. | 16 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | Cookie` | 15 | 0.0053 |
| #3 | Sipuli | 10 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | Radioaktiivinenurossimpanssi | 10 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | Jantsuu | 7 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sipuli | 1844 | 0.21 | 56 min |
| #2 | Radioaktiivinenurossimpanssi | 1067 | 0.21 | 30 min |
| #3 | Mossepo | 835 | 0.16 | 25 min |
| #4 | Pöllö_// | 784 | 0.17 | 21 min |
| #5 | Cookie` | 600 | 0.21 | 16 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mossepo | +2.59 | 83 | 81 |
| #2 | ogireg | +2.55 | 67 | 59 |
| #3 | wNtd:> | +1.37 | 79 | 70 |
| #4 | Lund | +1.33 | 67 | 63 |
| #5 | Dafffttttyyy | +1.00 | 79 | 69 |





