








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 688 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 297 matches | ||
| Faceit | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 33 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3018 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,991 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3606 | 30% |
| Smokes | 3384 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2483 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 2518 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,304,223 of utility $160 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 52 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vladimir Jesus Tarzan | 58% | 24 |
| #2 | Dafffttttyyy | 57% | 35 |
| #3 | wNtd:> | 50% | 24 |
| #4 | Foxmania | 48% | 23 |
| #5 | Jantsuu | 47% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #13 | Sipuli | 40% | 115 |
| #14 | Cookie` | 38% | 34 |
| #15 | Bob The Bodybuilder | 34% | 41 |
| #16 | LAIHDUTTAJA | 34% | 53 |
| #17 | Mossepo | 32% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bob The Bodybuilder | 5 | 0.0058 |
| #2 | CruNk. | 4 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | Kartza | 4 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | Cookie` | 4 | 0.0058 |
| #5 | Mossepo | 3 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Radioaktiivinenurossimpanssi | 587 | 0.22 | 17 min |
| #2 | Sipuli | 491 | 0.21 | 15 min |
| #3 | Mossepo | 217 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| #4 | Pöllö_// | 212 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #5 | Möllis | 189 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mossepo | +3.51 | 79 | 75 |
| #2 | Dafffttttyyy | +3.15 | 83 | 71 |
| #3 | Vladimir Jesus Tarzan | +2.23 | 73 | 61 |
| #4 | wNtd:> | +1.84 | 77 | 69 |
| #5 | Pöllö_// | +1.66 | 62 | 75 |





