








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 13 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 21 matches | ||
| Wingman | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1041 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,475 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 908 | 26% |
| Smokes | 901 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 917 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 749 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $484,052 of utility $143 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Avaar ♡ | 59% | 41 |
| #2 | Moon | 57% | 89 |
| #3 | Neffie | 51% | 122 |
| #4 | you did good $lick... | 46% | 72 |
| #5 | Bguuuy | 39% | 120 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | money_1_man | 7 | 0.0053 |
| #2 | Neffie | 5 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | Bguuuy | 5 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | Moon | 4 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | ThiccTurtle | 3 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Neffie | 278 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #2 | Moon | 163 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #3 | money_1_man | 139 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #4 | Bguuuy | 115 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #5 | Avaar ♡ | 114 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Neffie | +5.44 | 91 | 66 |
| #2 | Moon | +4.71 | 82 | 71 |
| #3 | Avaar ♡ | +3.01 | 83 | 71 |
| #4 | Coldblood | +1.14 | 73 | 47 |
| #5 | you did good $lick... | -0.91 | 73 | 36 |





