








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 602 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Premier | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1690 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,531 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1330 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1779 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 1237 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1185 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $702,585 of utility $196 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 136 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Moon | 57% | 28 |
| #2 | Neffie | 44% | 52 |
| #3 | ★CatWithAGat★ | 39% | 90 |
| #4 | you did good $lick... | 35% | 20 |
| #5 | eiffeN | 29% | 69 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bguuuy | 4 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | ThiccTurtle | 3 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | ★CatWithAGat★ | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #4 | eiffeN | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | Neffie | 1 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Neffie | 119 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #2 | ★CatWithAGat★ | 110 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #3 | eiffeN | 91 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #4 | Bguuuy | 90 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #5 | Moon | 52 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Neffie | +6.95 | 93 | 65 |
| #2 | Moon | +5.40 | 76 | 75 |
| #3 | Coldblood | +2.20 | 81 | 45 |
| #4 | money_1_man | +1.04 | 48 | 49 |
| #5 | you did good $lick... | -0.71 | 72 | 38 |





