








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 764 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 145 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 89 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 37 matches | ||
| Faceit | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 30 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




50 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4594 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,067 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5554 | 31% |
| Smokes | 3767 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 4282 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 4464 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $869,527 of utility $79 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 152 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mumflr Fumperdink | 60% | 87 |
| #2 | shock_1K | 59% | 32 |
| #3 | rev | 53% | 135 |
| #4 | Crazyanyone | 53% | 98 |
| #5 | Cawfee ♡ | 51% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mumflr Fumperdink | 16 | 0.0089 |
| #2 | Crazyanyone | 5 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | rev | 3 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | Cawfee ♡ | 3 | 0.0035 |
| #5 | shock_1K | 3 | 0.0042 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rev | 376 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| #2 | Mumflr Fumperdink | 265 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #3 | Xi_CoRupTed_iX | 166 | 0.24 | 4 min |
| #4 | shock_1K | 105 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #5 | Crazyanyone | 59 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mumflr Fumperdink | +6.60 | 82 | 70 |
| #2 | Crazyanyone | +5.61 | 92 | 49 |
| #3 | shock_1K | +1.57 | 80 | 74 |
| #4 | rev | +0.63 | 64 | 65 |
| #5 | YaqTheNok | +0.23 | 55 | 71 |





