








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1037 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 554 matches | ||
| Faceit | 351 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 48 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




38 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9526 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 47,302 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 10448 | 22% |
| Smokes | 16817 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 10001 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 10036 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,782,357 of utility $122 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1286 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kmoltz † | 58% | 95 |
| #2 | shock_1K | 56% | 107 |
| #3 | instagib | 55% | 87 |
| #4 | skep | 55% | 95 |
| #5 | Rusty | 54% | 131 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | Faze Turnip | 49% | 193 |
| #11 | DEAG + FENT 20K | 48% | 158 |
| #12 | kciN | 46% | 69 |
| #13 | mayhem | 46% | 98 |
| #14 | RunAwayChicken | 44% | 61 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Faze Turnip | 13 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | YaqTheNok | 12 | 0.0042 |
| #3 | Rusty | 9 | 0.0032 |
| #4 | Seb+ | 7 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | shock_1K | 7 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Faze Turnip | 547 | 0.13 | 11 min |
| #2 | YaqTheNok | 327 | 0.12 | 9 min |
| #3 | Degenerate | 325 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| #4 | Rusty | 317 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #5 | shock_1K | 304 | 0.13 | 9 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Steaux | +2.39 | 71 | 74 |
| #2 | DEAG + FENT 20K | +2.08 | 84 | 46 |
| #3 | kciN | +1.85 | 79 | 68 |
| #4 | Seb+ | +1.67 | 88 | 53 |
| #5 | Rusty | +1.44 | 92 | 54 |





