








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 379 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 144 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2846 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,563 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2616 | 23% |
| Smokes | 3706 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 2095 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 3146 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,792,835 of utility $172 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 280 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ge0rg | 46% | 37 |
| #2 | ballen wie die lakers Guck | 45% | 38 |
| #3 | Fab1uS | 39% | 140 |
| #4 | sugoi_milkies | 38% | 141 |
| #5 | Lost Boy Joschi | 35% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | sugoi_milkies | 38% | 141 |
| #5 | Lost Boy Joschi | 35% | 40 |
| #6 | LifoS | 33% | 228 |
| #7 | Mongoose | 30% | 190 |
| #8 | Nize ^-^ | 30% | 54 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LifoS | 40 | 0.0087 |
| #2 | Mongoose | 33 | 0.0087 |
| #3 | Fab1uS | 10 | 0.0035 |
| #4 | Nize ^-^ | 7 | 0.0064 |
| #5 | sugoi_milkies | 5 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LifoS | 559 | 0.12 | 15 min |
| #2 | Fab1uS | 438 | 0.16 | 10 min |
| #3 | sugoi_milkies | 411 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| #4 | Mongoose | 312 | 0.08 | 7 min |
| #5 | Nize ^-^ | 112 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ballen wie die lakers Guck | +5.52 | 82 | 64 |
| #2 | Lost Boy Joschi | +3.22 | 72 | 54 |
| #3 | Fab1uS | +3.07 | 60 | 69 |
| #4 | Nize ^-^ | +1.03 | 47 | 52 |
| #5 | LifoS | +0.00 | 56 | 59 |





