








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 835 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 521 matches | ||
| Faceit | 88 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 112 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6807 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,015 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2841 | 18% |
| Smokes | 5503 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 4445 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 3226 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,779,479 of utility $194 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 339 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | VeetiPatrik | 52% | 71 |
| #2 | rykäykä | 52% | 232 |
| #3 | veetixd | 51% | 161 |
| #4 | Jesse Eironen | 49% | 326 |
| #5 | Perna | 47% | 121 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rykäykä | 30 | 0.0061 |
| #2 | veetixd | 20 | 0.0058 |
| #3 | Jesse Eironen | 18 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | Perna | 13 | 0.0053 |
| #5 | SabraCadabra | 10 | 0.0054 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jesse Eironen | 1599 | 0.23 | 41 min |
| #2 | rykäykä | 1177 | 0.24 | 28 min |
| #3 | Perna | 739 | 0.30 | 21 min |
| #4 | veetixd | 487 | 0.14 | 13 min |
| #5 | SabraCadabra | 409 | 0.22 | 10 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | veetixd | +2.35 | 69 | 64 |
| #2 | Jesse Eironen | +1.08 | 71 | 60 |
| #3 | rykäykä | +0.38 | 58 | 64 |
| #4 | SabraCadabra | +0.36 | 75 | 71 |
| #5 | Jokisuks | +0.25 | 71 | 46 |





