








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2533 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 771 matches | ||
| Faceit | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 16 matches | ||
| Renown | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 150 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




30 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
10304 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 31,290 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 10508 | 34% |
| Smokes | 7989 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 8648 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 4145 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $4,252,585 of utility $184 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 522 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nissan | 61% | 70 |
| #2 | Taqil | 59% | 66 |
| #3 | Jojj | 59% | 61 |
| #4 | phill | 58% | 151 |
| #5 | CookieTheLooKZ | 55% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Le Browski^^ | 52% | 282 |
| #10 | Mizzer | 51% | 181 |
| #11 | Kongenafdetherlort | 51% | 65 |
| #12 | Top Dawg Under Dawg NL | 48% | 208 |
| #13 | doublesmølfen | 42% | 57 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Le Browski^^ | 10 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | Top Dawg Under Dawg NL | 10 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | phill | 6 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | Mizzer | 5 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | Nissan | 4 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Top Dawg Under Dawg NL | 526 | 0.12 | 14 min |
| #2 | Le Browski^^ | 368 | 0.06 | 8 min |
| #3 | phill | 340 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #4 | Mærsk √ | 288 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #5 | Jojj | 269 | 0.21 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | niklas | +3.87 | 85 | 73 |
| #2 | Jojj | +3.06 | 75 | 69 |
| #3 | Taqil | +2.53 | 79 | 39 |
| #4 | Nissan | +1.60 | 67 | 78 |
| #5 | Top Dawg Under Dawg NL | +0.96 | 64 | 63 |





