








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 335 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 200 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1503 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,030 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2360 | 24% |
| Smokes | 2644 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2803 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 2223 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $932,264 of utility $153 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 99 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | phill | 69% | 16 |
| #2 | Mærsk √ | 56% | 16 |
| #3 | Søndagsbarnet Jakobsen | 55% | 108 |
| #4 | Le Browski^^ | 54% | 39 |
| #5 | Wildpowerâ„¢ | 53% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Jack Dalton | 48% | 40 |
| #8 | Top Dawg Under Dawg NL | 46% | 26 |
| #9 | ¤_¤BumbleBiee¤_¤ | 44% | 16 |
| #10 | niklas | 43% | 21 |
| #11 | Mizzer | 38% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wildpowerâ„¢ | 2 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | Mærsk √ | 2 | 0.0055 |
| #3 | Søndagsbarnet Jakobsen | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #4 | Le Browski^^ | 1 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | Top Dawg Under Dawg NL | 1 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Søndagsbarnet Jakobsen | 271 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #2 | Wildpowerâ„¢ | 113 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #3 | Jack Dalton | 101 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #4 | niklas | 84 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #5 | ¤_¤BumbleBiee¤_¤ | 63 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | niklas | +5.69 | 88 | 79 |
| #2 | Wildpowerâ„¢ | +2.77 | 73 | 66 |
| #3 | Mærsk √ | +1.31 | 71 | 72 |
| #4 | phill | +1.22 | 59 | 56 |
| #5 | Søndagsbarnet Jakobsen | +1.11 | 63 | 61 |





