










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 19 matches | ||
| Premier | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




64 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
915 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 752 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 116 | 15% |
| Smokes | 151 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 248 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 237 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $368,674 of utility $92 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 175 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | testicular torsion | 59% | 17 |
| #2 | hux | 40% | 20 |
| #3 | Pandemic Express | 38% | 132 |
| #4 | Ranga Touched My Nephew | 37% | 191 |
| #5 | TPK Void | 35% | 134 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | hux | 40% | 20 |
| #3 | Pandemic Express | 38% | 132 |
| #4 | Ranga Touched My Nephew | 37% | 191 |
| #5 | TPK Void | 35% | 134 |
| #6 | philerson | 27% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ranga Touched My Nephew | 106 | 0.0284 |
| #2 | TPK Void | 26 | 0.0101 |
| #3 | Pandemic Express | 15 | 0.0057 |
| #4 | hux | 9 | 0.0223 |
| #5 | philerson | 5 | 0.0046 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pandemic Express | 399 | 0.15 | 8 min |
| #2 | TPK Void | 255 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #3 | Ranga Touched My Nephew | 189 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #4 | philerson | 108 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #5 | hux | 58 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hux | +9.78 | 91 | 55 |
| #2 | Pandemic Express | +3.85 | 72 | 59 |
| #3 | testicular torsion | +3.36 | 81 | 63 |
| #4 | Ranga Touched My Nephew | +1.00 | 52 | 34 |
| #5 | TPK Void | -1.17 | 44 | 47 |





