








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 36 matches | ||
| Premier | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
855 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,312 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 787 | 34% |
| Smokes | 679 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 403 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 443 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $76,677 of utility $56 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | drust | 75% | 4 |
| #2 | KΔ47 | 70% | 20 |
| #3 | etnie | 65% | 48 |
| #4 | Trebuans | 64% | 39 |
| #5 | nadeo | 64% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | etnie | 65% | 48 |
| #4 | Trebuans | 64% | 39 |
| #5 | nadeo | 64% | 47 |
| #6 | Iso10 | 58% | 43 |
| #7 | EMEr | 50% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nadeo | 1 | 0.0010 |
| #2 | Iso10 | 1 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nadeo | 271 | 0.26 | 8 min |
| #2 | etnie | 177 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #3 | Iso10 | 154 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #4 | Trebuans | 35 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | KΔ47 | 31 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | (p) e L k o | +2.95 | 93 | 70 |
| #2 | EMEr | +2.82 | 77 | 49 |
| #3 | nadeo | +0.84 | 75 | 76 |
| #4 | etnie | +0.18 | 69 | 72 |
| #5 | Trebuans | +0.00 | 73 | 48 |





