








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 8 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 56 matches | ||
| Premier | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
753 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,246 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1199 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1031 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1046 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 970 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $131,452 of utility $81 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 8 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | aBdii유 | 83% | 6 |
| #2 | drust | 70% | 20 |
| #3 | KΔ47 | 70% | 33 |
| #4 | nadeo | 63% | 70 |
| #5 | etnie | 62% | 76 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | nadeo | 63% | 70 |
| #5 | etnie | 62% | 76 |
| #6 | Trebuans | 58% | 48 |
| #7 | (p) e L k o | 58% | 43 |
| #8 | EMEr | 50% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nadeo | 2 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | etnie | 1 | 0.0007 |
| #3 | (p) e L k o | 1 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | aBdii유 | 1 | 0.0081 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nadeo | 331 | 0.25 | 9 min |
| #2 | etnie | 248 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #3 | (p) e L k o | 128 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #4 | Trebuans | 36 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | KΔ47 | 29 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | aBdii유 | +2.44 | 68 | 71 |
| #2 | (p) e L k o | +2.24 | 92 | 68 |
| #3 | EMEr | +2.22 | 67 | 53 |
| #4 | drust | +1.22 | 71 | 70 |
| #5 | nadeo | +0.72 | 74 | 73 |





