








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 7 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 52 matches | ||
| Wingman | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Premier | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
958 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,398 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2044 | 38% |
| Smokes | 1511 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 724 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 1119 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $61,931 of utility $27 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kajdy | 76% | 37 |
| #2 | drust | 73% | 15 |
| #3 | Jamal | 66% | 47 |
| #4 | etnie | 65% | 100 |
| #5 | (p) e L k o | 64% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | drust | 73% | 15 |
| #3 | Jamal | 66% | 47 |
| #4 | etnie | 65% | 100 |
| #5 | (p) e L k o | 64% | 47 |
| #6 | Iso10 | 63% | 70 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | (p) e L k o | 2 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | etnie | 1 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | etnie | 345 | 0.16 | 8 min |
| #2 | Iso10 | 259 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #3 | (p) e L k o | 136 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #4 | Kajdy | 51 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | Jamal | 47 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | (p) e L k o | +3.00 | 90 | 68 |
| #2 | drust | +1.83 | 65 | 66 |
| #3 | nadeo | +0.92 | 69 | 70 |
| #4 | etnie | +0.67 | 68 | 63 |
| #5 | Jamal | -0.14 | 71 | 43 |





