








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 19 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
288 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 631 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 24 | 4% |
| Smokes | 100 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 266 | 42% |
| Molotovs | 241 | 38% |
Our logs show you have wasted $57,440 of utility $60 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CabbageGod | 67% | 3 |
| #2 | Overdeuce | 40% | 5 |
| #3 | Waldo004 | 39% | 38 |
| #4 | Hextar_ | 38% | 8 |
| #5 | busted | 36% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | General Dynamics | 26 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| #2 | busted | 20 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #3 | Paul Allen | 15 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| #4 | slayer of slot | 13 | 0.11 | 0 min |
| #5 | Waldo004 | 12 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CabbageGod | +6.61 | 74 | 56 |
| #2 | Overdeuce | +4.81 | 66 | 3 |
| #3 | Waldo004 | +2.08 | 84 | 30 |
| #4 | slayer of slot | +1.08 | 39 | 48 |
| #5 | busted | +0.46 | 50 | 47 |





