








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 75 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 67 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




38 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1083 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,740 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1559 | 42% |
| Smokes | 646 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 1105 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 430 | 11% |
Our logs show you have wasted $119,437 of utility $26 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 156 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DTB Wingman | 63% | 24 |
| #2 | CabbageGod | 60% | 35 |
| #3 | busted | 45% | 47 |
| #4 | Paul Allen | 44% | 55 |
| #5 | Overdeuce | 43% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Hextar_ | 33% | 15 |
| #9 | slayer of slot | 32% | 50 |
| #10 | watermelon stealer | 32% | 63 |
| #11 | Lorddogm | 29% | 17 |
| #12 | IAteTheBible | 17% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Waldo004 | 22 | 0.0073 |
| #2 | slayer of slot | 11 | 0.0122 |
| #3 | busted | 5 | 0.0054 |
| #4 | Paul Allen | 4 | 0.0036 |
| #5 | DTB Wingman | 4 | 0.0084 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | slayer of slot | 103 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #2 | DTB Wingman | 101 | 0.21 | 2 min |
| #3 | busted | 94 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #4 | Waldo004 | 76 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #5 | CabbageGod | 76 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DTB Wingman | +9.46 | 83 | 67 |
| #2 | CabbageGod | +2.98 | 71 | 60 |
| #3 | Waldo004 | +1.68 | 78 | 30 |
| #4 | slayer of slot | +1.62 | 50 | 38 |
| #5 | busted | +1.12 | 56 | 40 |





