








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 97 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1039 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,039 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 664 | 22% |
| Smokes | 1115 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 815 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 445 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $231,679 of utility $63 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 84 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | watermelon stealer | 53% | 15 |
| #2 | General Dynamics | 44% | 55 |
| #3 | busted | 42% | 45 |
| #4 | Waldo004 | 40% | 87 |
| #5 | slayer of slot | 26% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | watermelon stealer | 53% | 15 |
| #2 | General Dynamics | 44% | 55 |
| #3 | busted | 42% | 45 |
| #4 | Waldo004 | 40% | 87 |
| #5 | slayer of slot | 26% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Waldo004 | 19 | 0.0108 |
| #2 | General Dynamics | 17 | 0.0155 |
| #3 | slayer of slot | 17 | 0.0204 |
| #4 | busted | 11 | 0.0123 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | General Dynamics | 141 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #2 | busted | 101 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #3 | slayer of slot | 74 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #4 | Waldo004 | 35 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| #5 | watermelon stealer | 4 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Waldo004 | +0.24 | 62 | 24 |
| #2 | busted | -0.02 | 58 | 46 |
| #3 | slayer of slot | -0.33 | 43 | 38 |
| #4 | Paul Allen | -0.88 | 52 | 38 |
| #5 | General Dynamics | -3.73 | 9 | 32 |





