








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 26 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1147 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,731 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1069 | 29% |
| Smokes | 1563 | 42% |
| HE Grenades | 748 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 351 | 9% |
Our logs show you have wasted $328,963 of utility $81 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 135 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Ya Boi Jack | 48% | 56 |
| #5 | CabbageGod | 44% | 132 |
| #6 | IAteTheBible | 38% | 63 |
| #7 | General Dynamics | 33% | 15 |
| #8 | HerpAnnDerp | 30% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DTB Wingman | 4 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | CabbageGod | 3 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | Waldo004 | 2 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | General Dynamics | 2 | 0.0069 |
| #5 | IAteTheBible | 1 | 0.0008 |





