








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 310 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 203 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




59 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3833 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,190 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 945 | 18% |
| Smokes | 1063 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 1540 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 1642 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,017,342 of utility $110 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 103 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DTB Wingman | 65% | 48 |
| #2 | Hextar_ | 57% | 42 |
| #3 | CabbageGod | 57% | 86 |
| #4 | busted | 46% | 123 |
| #5 | Overdeuce | 45% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | slayer of slot | 40% | 108 |
| #9 | Lorddogm | 39% | 38 |
| #10 | General Dynamics | 39% | 155 |
| #11 | IAteTheBible | 36% | 28 |
| #12 | watermelon stealer | 29% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | slayer of slot | 40 | 0.0201 |
| #2 | busted | 33 | 0.0137 |
| #3 | General Dynamics | 30 | 0.0100 |
| #4 | Paul Allen | 8 | 0.0045 |
| #5 | DTB Wingman | 4 | 0.0042 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | General Dynamics | 376 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #2 | busted | 270 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #3 | slayer of slot | 211 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #4 | DTB Wingman | 152 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #5 | CabbageGod | 145 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DTB Wingman | +8.73 | 82 | 72 |
| #2 | CabbageGod | +1.49 | 72 | 62 |
| #3 | Waldo004 | +1.12 | 71 | 31 |
| #4 | slayer of slot | +0.97 | 49 | 33 |
| #5 | busted | -0.08 | 59 | 40 |





