








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 156 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 35 matches | ||
| Premier | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
735 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,822 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 367 | 20% |
| Smokes | 391 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 398 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 666 | 37% |
Our logs show you have wasted $178,288 of utility $154 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 75 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ND | 100% | 3 |
| #2 | no time | 100% | 3 |
| #3 | hayanh- | 88% | 8 |
| #4 | OneLion | 85% | 13 |
| #5 | mexoozje | 80% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #14 | Bepli | 62% | 13 |
| #15 | Cl34v3rs™ | 60% | 5 |
| #16 | Alec | 57% | 7 |
| #17 | GHOS7 | 40% | 5 |
| #18 | NiVB3X | 33% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BingBong | 4 | 0.0170 |
| #2 | Spion | 1 | 0.0050 |
| #3 | χ roxorszszs | 1 | 0.0053 |
| #4 | GHOS7 | 1 | 0.0093 |
| #5 | Cl34v3rs™ | 1 | 0.0110 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NiVB3X | +5.38 | 85 | 46 |
| #2 | j1NZO | +4.94 | 97 | 53 |
| #3 | ND | +4.75 | 89 | 63 |
| #4 | Askan | +4.02 | 92 | 69 |
| #5 | mexoozje | +3.49 | 96 | 63 |





